Monday, April 27, 2009

"how can people know you..." part II

Of course, there were more... couldn't give them to you all at once...

1. I am easily forgiving:
Don't get me wrong--I forgive. I do. Otherwise I wouldn't be here right now. But not easily. When I feel personally slighted, I will hold that thought/grudge for a long time. I don't even want to call it a grudge, necessarily, because it's not as if I won't talk to you (well, that's really depending on the slight... I have gone years without talking to individuals...)--I have the great ability to be cordial with pretty much everyone, even people I don't care for. But I don't forget that thing that made me feel so slighted... i.e. the slight-er is talking, and I (the slight-ee) is listening, all the while, thinking in my head of that thing they did...

It wears off, eventually. But it's not that easy.

2. I am a homebody:
Well, I used to be so. But this label is no longer appropriate for me. These days, I pretty much spend the majority of my time away from my house--because like I told you, when I want to be by myself, I need to be by myself. The look and feel of the Florida sunshine and breeze compels me toward the outdoors--whether it be driving, sitting, sleeping, as long as it's outside. I go out, I work, I think--all away from the house. And this has really come to be my thing. So, no more of that homebody stuff.

3. I don't ask questions because I don't care:
I don't ask a lot of questions. I've always known this. To me, it's never been a problem--it's not like I have a bunch of burning questions and I just let the fire consume me and keep my hand down... not quite. I just never have. I've always been a kid (and now a young woman) who figured a lot of things out before having to ask anyone. Lately, I've heard it be said that it seems like I don't ask questions because I don't care. (This is mostly in a romantic setting, of course.)

Well, in some instances, I really don't care. I don't care for the small talk that people frequently employ--I never have. These are the times when I tend to fall quiet and like to listen to and observe people. That's always been how I learned most things. Through observation. And despite a slight departure from my way of being, I'm going back to it. Because observation, really, is the truest thing you can do--observing peoples' actions is how you learn people. Not through what they say, because people say a lot of things that end up not coming to pass. Even now, as I'm writing this, it wouldn't surprise me at all if you didn't really believe me, but decided to observe me instead. You'd find that the things I'm saying are the same things I do.

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