Wednesday, April 29, 2009

my month in the cage... I mean, cubicle

It is at once, everything I need, and everything I've been terrified of since I was fourteen.

The job is cash (I need), and the job is boring (terror).

At the end of the day, I stood up, after being told to clock out, and watched as the mass numbers of people (hundreds) filed out through the narrow hallways... under the fluorescent lights... near the rows and rows of offensively uniform blue cubicles filled with computers.

Everyone moved like cattle set free in a pasture like those wildebeests in The Lion King right before they knocked Mufasa off and to his death. (Thanks a lot, Scar... ooops, did I spoil the film for you?)

I'd been sitting in the same chair since 8:30 that morning, scoring kids' standardized tests. (The stampede occurred at precisely 4:30 pm.) As I placed my hand under my leg, I could feel the blood rushing through my veins... I'm pretty sure I'll have a blood clot before the end of the month, if the swine flu doesn't get me first.

It's the type of job I've been terrified of my entire adolescent life... the type of job I imagined was at the end of the rainbow of young adulthood... you know, you ascend the rainbow in high school, you get to college (you're riding high, now), and you party and shit, and you graduate, and then you live your wild, young adult life, and then you start to descend the rainbow... and then you find yourself unhappily married, with two-and-a-half kids, a big fucking dog, and a job that you cannot stand... one that involves you sitting in a big room with no windows, painted some color of doctor's office tan, staring at a computer screen all day until your eyes burn and your body is heavy with the fatigue of the inexplicably unimportant.

Granted, it's only for a month, and it pays cash money, which I need, but me, coming from my flexible, constantly-in-motion, always in the sunlight environment of recreation, to spending an entire work day staring at a computer screen and eating enough Jolly Ranchers to make me want to vomit sugar... well, it's a bit of a work culture shock.

But I'm thankful in advance for the money, of course, and for the experience... because it's showed me even more just how much I will never have a career that involves me getting a blood clot while sitting under my least favorite kind of light.

I need to keep my leg, you know.


that one said...

I totally had this experience over the summer.

I worked on the corporate side of MJ Soffe in Fayetteville, NC, putting in orders. I pledged RIGHT then to never settle for a job like that. There were women there who were their 50s and I was like, I can't have this life. Working 8 to 5 under fluorescent lights...AND having to dress up!? It was too much for, but it was good money over the summer.

Miss Malorie said...

Yes, I hear you!

At least I don't have to dress up (scoring tests isn't that glamorous, so their version of "business casual" is jeans and not looking like a skank lol).

I can't have that life either... but I sure as hell can have that money! lol.

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