Monday, May 11, 2009

it must be hard to date a writer

It must be.

Writing is the one thing I've never been scared to do. For a girl who internalized so so much, and let people say all kinds of stuff to her, and for a girl who pocketed so much anger and resentment and sadness, I've never had a problem putting it on paper. I've given so many fuck you's that I wouldn't have been able to utter otherwise.

But the downside of writing (at least in my life) is that it's so cathartic and it happens so fast, and it feels so good to write the things that piss me off about others... but, the problem is that, when you don't share these things that have upset you with the people that have upset you, and they read it through your writing, I know that shit hurts. I've had the experience, and it incensed me. It literally felt like my body was on fire. Granted, I don't respond well to someone's anger with me/disappointment in me, etc.

Therefore, it must be freakin' hard to date a writer. Or to be a friend of a writer. We can be like loose cannons. I don't like that. I'm going to work on that. I'd prefer not to add to the list of people I've burned with my words on paper (and thank God, either I'm lucky, or they're very nice, because we're all still friends... friendship is an amazing thing!)

2 comments:

that one said...

Mmm...truth.

I so badly try to not write when I'm angry because if I'm mad enough, I WILL go off and I hate arguing...I mean, I WILL--but I prefer to not have to deal with it. But yes--I have definitely experience this...oh within the last 24...lol. Boy oh boy...and on top of that, I don't know if all writers are like this, but I tend to have a specific memory and I can recall random facts about things and I've learned how to turn words...and I just blew up and made this person kinda look bad all in a total of...what...3 or 4 tweets, which are 140 characters. *sigh*

and of course..he and I might never be friends again. such is life. i gotta get past this. *bleh*

Miss Malorie said...

Oh, my memory is razor specific... to certain things. Lol. I think most people are like this, the thing is that most writers or artists (*risking being esoteric but who cares*) can dwell on these memories like none other. But I read a book and in the book it spoke on memory and how we can't expect memory to be like a video tape played back... we feel like it is, but the more we run over memories in our minds, the more we add to them with our own expectations, wants, etc.

I've noticed that as time goes on, I see snatches of memories... as in, I'll see something played back in my head with no sound (yeah, I know lol) in a quick instance. The ones I see longer than quick instances I've usually colored with my own thoughts... those might be the ones that have sound to them. Lol.

And yes, I can rip a person apart, all while using razor sharp diction and the haughtiest of words... I really must work on this. Lol.

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