Friday, July 31, 2009

the last day in a month of changes...

That's how I used to title my journal entries, every July 31st (if I happened to write), since I was fourteen. It was always symbolic for me, since I tend to try to live the hell (!) out of every July, seeing as it's my birth month and all.

I did a good job this month. Vacations, seeing friends, concerts, the beaches... I feel like I've been gone more than I've been around this month.

But, in an hour comes August... and with August always comes change. Sure, every day, minute, and hour brings change, but it seems like August always brings those real changes. People are moving away at a rapid rate (now the majority of all of my friends have graduated from college)... I'm planning to move away also (if everything works out)... my other friends are going back to school... lovers are falling off, and a love is leaving. Summer begins to depart and I could swear, when I wake up in the morning, those sunrises just don't look the same...

July leaves and the fanfare is gone... not life's fanfare, of course, but the summertime, frivolous fanfare... it's back to the grind. July, you've done me well this year. And I hope I've done you justice as well.

A thought while riding home in the car: it's very easy to sit and lament over how things didn't work and how you would fix them if you were given another chance to do it all over again. Well, quite frankly, very few of us will see that second chance, and most of us, if given spoken chance, would fuck it all up, all over again. So what do you do? Make your peace with what that which you can't fix, and move on and keep living your life to the best of your ability.

Just a thought.

That being said, I sent spoken letter (read back if you're missing what I'm speaking of). And I don't know how it was received; I don't know if it was received at all. All I can do is pray that I find peace in what I said to this particular individual, and let the rest of the chips fall in God's hands... where they should have been all along.

I saw Maxwell and Chrisette Michele in concert Thursday night. I love both these artists so it was no surprise that their concert was absolutely amazingly marvelous, but it was just so refreshing to be in the room with people who can actually sing... like, for real. I'm not talking Keri Hilson and Ne-Yo, here. I'm talking about that singing that happens when people have soul deep inside of them. When it just radiates from them. It's a very sexy thing.

It was a great way to top off my July :) As for now, I'm off to write an article. Because when my head gets clouded, sometimes I find that the written word does not suffice for the things inside. That's a new thing. I'm not sure if that's good, or bad. Nonetheless... until later...

hasta el julio proximo...

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