Tuesday, April 13, 2010

"Forever, forever..."

I was riding in the car this morning, in a bit of a typical funk, just daydreaming, singing along with the radio when I realized the words I was repeating and was shocked back to consciousness.

I want you to be, the only one for me forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.... (Babyface, "Never Keeping Secrets")

I think it was the repeating of "forever and ever" that brought me back. My first thought was, "man, it must be nice to have someone telling you they want to be with you forever." (I wouldn't know anything about that.) But then, more pressingly, I asked myself, "why are we humans so concerned with things lasting forever?"

If you listen to any great, good, or even mediocre "love" song, you will usually find a reference to "forever" in the song. And I'm sure you probably sing along, daydreaming about flowers and long smiles in candlelight and sitting in a rocking chair growing old with the love of your life.

My point is not to be bitter in any way, but to be realistic: why are we so concerned with forever (?) when we are forced to logically accept the fact that nothing lasts forever?**

It starts in childhood... we call our friend our best friend forever (BFF). And on and on and on. But, nothing lasts forever. It just does not.

So, instead of focusing on how long something is supposed to last, why don't we just focus on the feelings instead? Could it be that maybe people are sacrificing the quality for the quantity? Who cares how great it is, just as long as it lasts forever...

There are so many thoughts that are implanted in our heads before we have a chance to formulate our own methods of reasoning. Don't get me wrong: like any red-blooded female, of course I would love to have someone tell me they want to be with me forever. That's actually kind of important to me. But, could it be dangerous to want someone to want me forever, knowing that nothing can last forever?** Just a thought.

And dance forever-ever-ever, forever-ever-ever, forever-ever-ever, forever... (Chris Brown, "Forever")

Always and forever, each moment with you, is just like a dream to me, that somehow came true, and I know tomorrow, will still be the same, cuz we've got a life of love, that won't ever change... (Luther Vandross/Heatwave, "Always and Forever")

Many lovers has come and many lovers have gone, similar to an old fashioned song (a thousand years from now, we'll be still puttin' it down my baby), you can change the frame, but the picture, remains the same, similar to the sun after the rain (a thousand years from now, we'll be still puttin' it down my baby), baby girl in other words forever more, I'll be here... (R. Kelly, "Step in the Name of Love")

See... that last example didn't even make sense. I know R. Kelly speaks in his own language but damn... that was basically just a reason to talk about being around someone forever. I guess I just wonder how people deal when they get married, planning to be together forever and then their spouse files for divorce or leaves, or when someone passes away when they are supposed to be here forever... how do we, as humans, effectively deal with the ending of things when we set ourselves up mentally for a perpetual existence?

**this is me playing Devil's Advocate... I do believe that entities like love last forever, so although "nothing" can last forever, I think it is possible to want someone forever.


Anonymous said...

Excellent observations. Especially the quantity over quality. I think many people fall in love with the "dream" or "idea" of something and want it to last forever. those awesome feelings...not really preparing themselves for the "real" part of relationships...they want the good stuff to last forever.

Miss Malorie said...

Thanks :) It was especially poignant when I looked up the R. Kelly lyrics... this man repeated forever over and over but the shit made no sense lol. But yes, I understand because I know I used to be in love with the idea of "love" and just being in love forever and ever and ever... it's not quite that simple. You gotta take the bad with the good.

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