Sunday, November 14, 2010

In the advent that I don't see you again

We walked downstairs in the blinding sun of midday, like we always do, and you waited for me to place my things in my car, and open the driver's side door, so we could say goodbye, until next time.

I stepped out from my door to hug you, and we kissed on the cheek as the sun warmed us. You told me you'd let me know whether we'd hang on Sunday, and I said okay, and wished you a safe trip.

Whether it registered in my mind that this goodbye could be the last goodbye is not a question. When I watched you walk away from me as I drove away, I knew that that was the best goodbye I could ever give. My heart will never fully accept that you're gone, and part of her will probably always wait for your return in her life.

A kiss goodbye would never be long enough; your embrace would never satisfy my skin. Our conversation would never cease; my tears would continue falling. I would hold you and never ever let you go. I can never say goodbye, because I can't say I believe much in them, unless for good purpose (like people whom should have never been in my life anyway).

What you received that day was the best I could give you. Pretending like our goodbye that day was just another goodbye until another day, when I would see you again, and kiss your fragrance; inhaling you into me, once again, in the warmth of a Fall's day.




love you.
m.

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