Tuesday, March 15, 2011

random (as I do so well)

:DST just happened. (Daylight Savings Time, not Delta Sigma Theta.) Although I know it's now 7 o'clock (at the time of my writing), when I stepped out the shower, while still being in my bathroom (which has no window), my body felt like 6. My body told me it was 6. When I looked out the window, due to the low, golden sun and Monet-like clouds in the sky, my brain told me it was still early, even though I knew it was later. This for me poses a deft question: how much of our reality isn't actually based on what we know, but rather how and what we feel?

:Epiphany: just got off from a long day being a camp counselor again (at the time of my writing), after being away from it (truly) for almost two years. My body is electric. I feel good. Great, even. I'm slightly tired, but not craving sleep. Sure, it could certainly be the fact that this is a break from the regular 8 to 6, and that's why I'm so excited, but, if I do recall, this is what I used to do every summer, and , once I moved back home, every day. And though it got old to me, it wasn't the job itself that got old, it was the fact that I felt like I hadn't explored enough outside of my job that got old.

Well, after some exploring (even though I've still technically been working with kids), I came right back up on my first love today. (At the time of this writing.) It felt better than great to be in charge of that group. It felt right. It felt like me, whistle around the neck and all. And when I looked up from what I was doing to see one of my babies looking around, so young, but with such a promising twinkle in his eye, I fell in love all over again. This is what makes me feel right and good. Now if only I could combine that with other things that make me feel right, good, and successful, we'd have ourselves a career here. (Clearly, I need to be my own boss and employee.)

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