Sunday, April 10, 2011

thoughts on a weekend

I had an entirely different post in mind earlier, but I'm no longer feeling it.

  • You know, even though she irritates me to no avail sometimes, I'm glad I have my cat during times like this, when I'm on my period and I feel unwanted/unloved/in despair/needy for affection. These are the times when I just pick her up and rub her belly. She usually rubs her head against my hand, and tonight she rolled over on her back and stretched against me like a baby. I needed that. If she didn't shed everywhere I'd cuddle with her in my bed.
  • I went to a free concert this weekend (Alexander and Albert Markhov), and it felt good to dress up and do something admittedly more on the adult tip. This wasn't my first time doing something like that; I used to do "random" things like that often enough at home.
  • When/if I get married, I want a string quartet playing. There is something some kind of classy and beautiful about string instruments, especially the violin. It sounds like weddings were made for the strings, or the strings for weddings. Either way, it's what I want. There will not be Stevie Wonder's "Ribbon in the Sky" playing me down the aisle. That became cliche almost twenty years ago.
  • I know who, but I'm not for sure on why.
  • While driving today, I found myself longing for days I'd already lived and places I'd already visited. The funny thing about it is that I can remember the moments and how I felt while they were occurring in real time, and they didn't mean much more to me than just being the fun of the moment. Every day we are potentially creating memories of days that we will long for in the future. Deep thought.
  • I don't like champagne, but no champagne tastes better than free champagne that you got at a church. Don't ask. You definitely had to be there. That experience was one of those memories I'm creating for future days.
  • Laying out at the beach was relaxing and I had time to think, but, just because I enjoy my own company doesn't mean that I always want to bask in my own company solely.
  • In thinking about the many things I did this weekend that don't necessarily fit evenly with one another in one box--getting dressed up, drinking, listening to classical violin music, going to the beach to bask in the sun, staying up late, waking up early, volunteering most of the day on Saturday, spending hours in silence, spending hours in conversation--I find that these things seem to be a testament to the varied individual I am. I am many boxes inside one person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that to my next statement, someone would say "yeah, well everyone is just as you are," but sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be able to find someone who would be able to kick it with me on my level on the regular. Maybe my desires are unreasonable, and maybe I don't need someone to hang out with me all the time--maybe he can sit out when I go to the violin concert and he can watch some basketball, or something--but regardless, they're my unreasonable desires, dammit. What if I can't find that guy who is as many boxes inside himself as I am inside me? What if he can't find me either?
  • Thought that was going to be a longer post: cool people are everywhere, something *he* would say to me often, a way of him explaining why moving so often wasn't as unfathomable to him as the thought was to me. Though I still believe there was a little bit more to his description than meets the eye, the basis of that statement rings true. By this summer, I would have lived in three cities in three years, and will be working on my fourth city. I've got friends scattered everywhere myself. The reason I do, is because cool people are indeed everywhere. Here in Miami I have met some of the coolest people I have ever worked with; people I plan on inviting to those milestones of adulthood that should be coming up (well, I guess they should be) like weddings and baby showers. Hell, I wish I'd known some of the people I met here back when I was in college. Feel like I would have had a hell of a lot more fun. Regardless, cool people are indeed everywhere, and I pray the next leg of my journey involves some characters as well, though it's going to be pretty hard to top the characters I call a crew here in Miami.

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